Reasons to hate an assortment of clubs
Flicking through the most recent issue of Four Four Two magazine (Ed – fuck knows why), you will find they have compiled a list of the most hated teams in the world. It’s even a bit serious: they went and picked teams that have done silly things and gave us reasons why we should actually hate them. In reality, there’s a reason to hate every club that has ever graced a football pitch. Even your own. (Ed – Anyone involved in football? Scum. We learned this earlier on)
Barcelona: Because every Saturday or Sunday night we must sit down and partake in a Catalan-flavoured orgy.
Arsenal: We try to like then but it’s getting a little tiresome, fellas. Sell Fabregas, sack Wenger, buy a shed load of foul-mouthed players in their late 20s and get back to us.
Liverpool: “This is our year”. No it’s not. Like it wasn’t last year. Or the year before. Facht. (Disclaimer: Remember I mentioned we should hate our own clubs?)
Man City: Because they have enough money to buy a small country, yet still persist with Gareth Barry in midfield (Ed – sometimes I call him Gareth ‘Baby’ when I’m watching at home. It’s always hilarious and the people that aren’t around to hear it always laugh).
Real Madrid: We love Barcelona, apparently, so it comes with the territory (Ed – this is a Real Madrid site next season – love you, Jose.)
Man Utd: It gave Twitter’s favourite player Darron Gibson a Premier League medal. That’s got to be illegal somewhere.
Man Utd: Because they win everything.
Chelsea: Is Ashley Cole a good enough reason? Or Roman Abramovich? John Terry? Sold!
LA Galaxy: David Beckham does something. It makes every news site on earth. It’s reported on Sky Sports News. They show the clip on the hour, every hour. The world continues to not care.
Newcastle: Over 50,000 people turn out every week to watch them disappoint. That’s about 10,000 fat bellied, shirtless idiots that we have to look at.
Tottenham: Sky Sports News’ favourite out-the-window-of-the-car-outside-the-training-ground-interviewee is their manager.