Manchester United owe Manchester City a FIFA 12 apology

We – losers who play computer games all day – all know FIFA apology rules. If your team concedes five goals you have to write a letter of apology to your opponent for your poor performance. Manchester United lost 6-1 to Manchester City yesterday: it’s time for an apology.

“Dear Manchester City (Roberto Mancini et al),

Our performance yesterday was unacceptable. We were at home, we were in good form and we had few significant injuries. Allowing Johnny Evans to be turned like that was pathetic in the extreme.

We wasted your time. In the final ten minutes we stopped trying and you deserved better.

Sincere, FIFA 12, apologies. It wont happen again.

Mr Ferguson”

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