Tottenham Hotspur 3-1 QPR – as it happened.

A comfortable victory for Spurs , who were as good in large stretches as QPR were poor.

Van der Vaart, Bale and Modric were all excellent for Spurs, but it was Parker who dominated the match, winning the ball back on countless occasions. There were a few moments of nerves for Spurs when QPR pulled it back to 2-1, but Gareth Bale’s delightful curling shot settled matters.

All the goals here.

93 min: Corner for QPR. Barton again, and much better than his usual fare. It’s whipped in, and bounces in the box, it’s cleared off the line. Luke Young is put through, and pulls the ball back for Mackie who is unable to finished, the ball then bounces off heids for a few minutes, and the game ends here. Full time.

90 min: There’s going to be three minutes of added time.

85 min:  A slalom from Mackie in front of the box, right to left, who gives the ball to Wright-Phillips to shoot wide. It is indeed Sandro on for Parker, who receives deserved applause.

84 min: The shithouse Adebayor fights for the ball to win  a free kick as he is pulled down. Sandro is warming up, and looks to be coming on for Scott Parker, who is having an alluring, meaningful stretch.

81 min: Tony Ling has this in his head, now on the page, ‘In my continuing quest to mistake you for a real journalist, what does Spurs need to push themselves into the ranks of title contenders, not just Champions League spot contenders? I think a better striker probably goes without saying, but how about a new center back? They’re such a good team already, but it still feels like they need that extra something, doesn’t it?’ A centre back who stays fit – which rules out a move for Rio Ferdinand (in principle, but it might happen nevertheles – and another striker wouldn’t go amiss. The biggest thing, I’d say, is experience. Only a few of their squad have experience of winning titles, and one of those, Adebayor is a) only on loan and b) a shithouse. A through ball for Wright-Phillips is well anticipated by Friedel, and the small man can’t get it.

79 min: Modric gives away a free kick after a trip just on the D. It’s straight on, and Faurlin takes. Well struck, curling away from Friedel, but it’s a yard over.

77 min: Kyle Walker down with an injury after challeging for a header. He ambles off gingerly but he seems alright.

75 min: An email from Liam Doyle, who asks how much it is to eat at Hawksmoor. This isn’t Time Out, Liam.

73 min: Parker then turns up on the left hand side of the halfway line, making two tackles in as many seconds to interrupt a QPR counter attack. He has been superb. He then gives away the ball as Spurs attack. I’ve still got it.

71 min: Goal! Spurs 3-1 QPR. My word, that’s lovely. Parker advances and he, Bale, and Lennon exchange passes on the edge of the box. Finally, Lennon’s return to Bale is curled into the top corner, past Paddy Kenny, to settle the game. That was fine stuff.

70 min: Walker and Helguson have a little chat about Walker fouling him from behind. Barton’s cross to the far post is headed clear by Kaboul, who then advances down the left channel. He’s bundled over and wins a foul. Honestly, a single email would be lovely.

67 min: Spurs win a corner. Van der Vaart finds Assou-Ekotto on the corner of the box, who curls a shot towards the top right corner. Kenny palms it away, and the cross back in is headed out for a goal kick. Tottenham have more goals in them.

64 min: A mess from Kenny in collecting a Van der Vaart free kick. Adebayor wins it in the box, and puts the ball back in for Bale.  He lashes the ball goalwards, but Kenny redeems himself with a fantastic block. That should do wonders for QPR’s confidence. They’ve been awful, like last week, but could still get something from this.

61 min:  I am thick! Goal! Tottenham 2-1 QPR. Helguson leaps up to reach a cross and puts the ball in front of Jay Bothroyd, who puts the ball in the net for QPR .  Having said that Spurs will win this, I think it’s fair to discredit everything I ever say in future.

59 min: A break from Tottenham ends in a weak flick from Van der Vaart that Kenny gathers. At the other end, Mackie pushes Parker to the ground, and it’s worth saying it’s all a bit meh. Spurs will win this from here.

57 min:  Good work by Wright-Phillips wins two corners for QPR in quick succession.  The second, taken by Joey Barton, is glanced away by Kyle Walker, but Bothroyd is offside when QPR restart the attack.  QPR have had much more of possession and territorial pressure in this half.

53 min:  Corner for QPR and Tottenham manage to clear their box of that cross, and the similarly poor one that comes straight afterwards.

50 min: Kenny with a brilliant save. A volley from Van der Vaart, with the outside of the left foot, is pawed away from goal. The old order of things looks to be back.  Scott Parker relieves Joey Barton of the ball as he strides forward. He has been so efficient at winning back the ball today.

Emails, please.

49 min:  King intercepts a Barton through ball aimed at Bothroyd.  Sixteen passes later, Modric is tripped by Barton.

45 min:  We kick off, and Neil Warnock has done a Phil Brown and used all his three substitutes.  Derry and Taarabt are off for Bothroyd and Mackie.  The two midfielders who’ve been sacked off were utterly anonymous, they can’t have much of an argument.  QPR have started brighter than they did the first half, but with no more penetration.

I should probably say, we’ll be covering Stoke tomorrow, and at least one game from each of Tuesday and Wednesday’s Champions League games. The Arsenal-Marseilles clash, as well as Manchester United’s stumble against Galati.

Just thinking about the first series of The Thick Of It.  It seems apposite regarding the intellectualisation (or attempted intellectualisation) of football. ‘Get me three liberals, two mavericks and a racist!’ Well, that’s a Chelsea crowd these days, isn’t it?

You can find all the goals – and they’re worth watching – here.

47 min: QPR keep the ball in defence for a minute, for the first time of the match. Faurlin panics, so puts it out for a Spurs goal kick. It’s half time.

45 min: In my emails, I’m discussing which steaks are now considered cool. Onglet, for example, has all the hip kids over it. I liked onglet before it got cool, motherfuckers. FCF, the culinary vanguard, right here. Two minutes of this half left, then I’m going to brown some pork.

41 min:  Now Adebayor has a go.  Put through on the left, he tries to curl a shot across goal, but he can’t get enough bend on it.  Spurs should win this won comfortably. This is shoddy stuff from QPR, who have, theoretically, a half decent midfield.

40 min: Kalle, human viagra, is back: ‘This sexy beast is feeling downright feline in a smart pair of sweatpants this evening. You were spot on the money. I don’t like this Spurs team. They dont feel ‘great’ to me, with their thin squad and their loan signings. And they cant stop winning either apparently, characters.’ Characters is a word Kalle uses when he means a more emotive piece of Scotch patois.  Spurs proceed to pass roughly sixteen million times, and Assou-Ekotto’s pass to the box is controlled dead by Modric, who pokes a low shot a couple of inches wide. From there, QPR attack and win a rare corner.

37 min:  Modric chests down the corner, and according to Ray Wilkins, ‘doesn’t get enough swazz’ on his volley.  It’s a yard or so wide, and Spurs are looking like they’re having fun. Football. Fun. Yeah, weird, I know. Another Barton free kick is out for a goal kick.

36 min:  QPR can put nothing together.  A promising break is ended when Barton’s stray pass is taken back.  Barton is woeful.  Tottenham show them how it’s done, and Modric’s cross is headed out for a corner by Ferdinand.

32 min:  Goal! Tottenham 2-0 QPR.  From the throw-in, Ledley king ambles up to meet the floundering attack, he takes a shot, it’s going out.  Van der Vaart sticks out a leg, brings it under control excellently,  and finishes smartly.  Smashing control, Ray.

31 min:  Taarabt plays a crossfield ball out for a throw in.  If PSG really are offering £15 million for him, QPR should take it.

27 min:  Almost a goal for Bale.  Adebayor skips down the right, his cross escapes everyone and is put back in by Assou-Ekotto.  Bale meets it, but is leaning backward and his volley doesn’t trouble anyone, going as it does, ten yards over.

25 min:  Sexy beast Kalle Weis-Fogh says just before the goal, ‘Not much happening in the QPR-Spurs game, huh…’  He was right until the goal, and now QPR take the chance to clatter Scott Parker on the edge of their box.  He’s holding his head, because it hurts or because he’s depressed.  I’m guessing the former, but I’d sympathise with the latter.

24 min:  Spurs put QPR under pressure.  The first cross from Bale is off target, and eventually the ball is worked back to Van der Vaart.  Outside the box, and central, his shot dribbles for Kenny to save easily to his right.

22 min:  Joey Barton floats a free kick into the box for QPR, and it sails out for a goal kick.  Poor stuff from the shithouse.  He genuinely was one of the best midfielders had for a period, just not now we’ve all started paying attention to him.

20 min:  Goal!  Tottenham Hotspur 1 – 0 QPR.  Fantastic.  Aaron Lennon finds himself in front of the QPR box as Spurs break, there’s room for Gareth Bale on the left, so he slips in a pass for the Welshman.  With one touch he drills a shot across goal and past Kenny.  A fine goal.  Well done, Gareth!

18 min:  Good play from Barton and Wright-Phillips down the right wing ends when Bale intercepts and wins a goal kick for Spurs.  The game has become less open as the two teams take the chance to size one another up.

16 min:  Adebayor is a great signing for Spurs.  Last year they had great success with Crouch-Van der Vaart, and this is like replacing Crouch with someone who isn’t pretty bad at football.

14 min:  A rare attack for QPR, the cross from Taarabt is repelled and Bale steams down the left wing and crosses low, but it’s just out of reach for Adebayor and goes begging.

12 min:  Gareth Bale kicked as he falls to the ground.  The free kick will be taken by Van Der Vaart, crossing from the left hand side, glanced just wide by Adebayor.  Great cross from Van der Vaart.  I still haven’t checked if I’m spelling that correctly.

10 min:  No rhythm to the game now, after that extended lull for the treatment and substitution of Hall.

8 min:  Topical mistake.  Ray Wilkins says Anton Ferdinand goes down with a hamstring injury.  It’s Fitz Hall in reality, and he’ll be replaced by Danny Gabbidon.

6 min:  Tottenham’s midfield and defence have kept the ball for most of the opening stages.  QPR are trying to hustle Spurs, but it’s a much larger pitch than their ground and Spurs are able to pass with much more time and space.

3 min:  Assou-Ekotto takes, and it’s a couple of yards over.  Van Der Vaart had wanted to take it, but instead of throwing a Taarabt, he jogs back to the halfway line.

2 min:  Almost a goal!  A shot outside the box from Modric is killed by Van der Vaart.  He tries to put it into the near post but Kenny saves excellently.  From the corner, another great save from Kenny.  Excellent start from the keeper and from Spurs, who win a free kick now just outside the box.

1 min:  We kick off, thankfully nobody being racist to anyone else.  Is it really so hard for footballers to keep their traps shut?   Don’t answer that.

A decent week for the site coming up.  There should be contributions and MBMs from Rob Smyth and Jacob Steinberg, who have been AWOL recently.

While we wait for kick off, why not take a look at the last time these teams met.  Well, not the last time, it’s on the right hand side of the page, a clash from 1974.

Alan Curbishley on QPR: ‘They’re from West London.’ And Spurs, Alan?  ’North London.’

What do you think, should I do Toulouse vs Stade Rennais instead?  There’s got to be more hits in that.

Last night, for a change, I went to Hawksmoor. Is there a better place to get a steak in England?  Is there heck.

QPR will look to do two things today.  One, harry Spurs as much as they did Chelsea, and get them just as riled as John Terry and Didier Drogba ended up doing.  Two, pass the ball from one QPR player to another at least twice in a row.  Last weekend, despite having a two man advantage for the majority of the game, they could not build on their opening goal, and that was from a penalty.  They really weren’t disciplined last week, and to solve that they’ve dropped kept Adel Taarabt in their starting eleven.

Spurs, meanwhile start with what you could reasonably argue is their strongest eleven.  After a wee wobble, they’ve been very competent of late.  It would be difficult to predict anything else than a victory for Spurs but, you know, they’re Spurs, so they might vomit their way to defeat.

We’ll have all the goals from 101 Great Goals, so stick around as we cover the game LIVE.  Do, also, please email me with reasoned and full sentences.  If you’re feeling confident, more than one sentence in an email would be ideal.  The more work you do, the less for me.

Team news.  Well, less team news and more of a word song:

Tottenham: Friedel; Walker, King, Kaboul, Assou-Ekotto; Lennon, Parker, Modric, Bale; Van der Vaart, Adebayor

Subs: Cudicini, Bassong, Gallas, Livermore, Sandro, Defoe, Pavlyuchenko.

QPR: Kenny; Young, Hall, Ferdinand, Traore; Derry, Faurlin; Barton, Taarabt, Wright-Phillips; Helguson.

Subs: Murphy, Hill, Gabbidon, Bothroyd, Mackie, Buzsaky, Smith.

Some music to start the day.

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