94 min: Goal! Fulham 1-3 Spurs (Defoe). Bale brings the ball into the Fulham corner, and from the throw in he wins. Adebayor has the ball on the right hand side of the box. He passes back for Defoe, whose volley is deflected past Schwarzer by Stephen Kelly. It’s over. Full time.

93 min: Madness in the box. Head tennis gets the ball into the box. A shot bounces off Friedel, and Walker falls onto the ball, who by accident or not, holds onto the ball. Walton refuses to give a penalty, which is stupid. From the corner, Dempsey heads onto Modric by the post. It was so close to going in. A minute left.

90 min: Four minutes of added time left.  Spurs have a free kick in their half, and they’ll take their time. They’re taking a cold minute to get the ball back in play.

89 min: Parker bursts through the centre of midfield, he’s in the box, dithering to be truthful, but is bundled from behind by Sidwell. It looks like a penalty, but the referee isn’t interested, and Fulham begin to put pressure on Spurs. At the edge of the box, Modric trips Dembele, falling easily for a free kick that Ruiz will take. It drifts out, too high, at the far post. It was definitely a penalty for Spurs, by the way.

85 min: Assou-Ekotto gives away a free kick on the right touchline. It’s Ruiz who takes, now Duff is off, but it’s headed away to the Cost Rican, who shoots from outside the area. It’s blocked and rebounds all the way to the Fulham half.

84 min: Dembele shoots from twenty five yards. It’s wildly inaccurate. There you go. Spurs have been able to mute Fulham’s efforts. They’re keeping the ball better now than at any part of the second half.

81 min: Spurs keep the ball well for a moment. Walker breaks down the right – it looks like he runs it out – but his pass into the box is intercepted. Zamora at the other end manages to snatch a shot, and it’s straight at Friedel.

79 min: A cross to Dempsey is saved easily by Friedel. Fulham have had 20 shots, but most seem to have been straight at the goalkeeper (I haven’t checked this stat for truth).

77 min: Aaron Lennon is off for Sandro. Not long left for Fulham to get something from this game.

76 min: Danny Murphy, who I never particularly liked, is taken off for Dickson Etuhu, who I never particularly liked. Murphy has been quiet, but he did play on Thursday.

75 min: So close. A fantastic through ball from Ruiz, in the centre circle, and Demspey is round the keeper quickly, he slides the ball goalwards but Ledley King’s leg is outstretched to give away a corner. The corner brings cries of penalty as the ball hits a defender’s arm, but nothing is given. This is frantic stuff.

72 min: Ruiz stepovers past Modric, and the ref gives a foul. It’s thirty five yards out, slightly to the right and Murphy takes, and it’s headed away by Walker. It’s all taking place in the Spurs half. I’d take Modric off and put Sandro on.  Is he on the bench? He is! That’s research, that.

70 min: Knocked right by Murphy to Baird who smashes the ball at goal. Friedel dives to his left to pull off a really impressive save.  A minute later, Friedel gets to watch a low shot from Dembele skid past his near, left post. Damien Duff is taken off for Bryan Ruiz.

67 min: Morality’s Daniel Harris on Steve Sidwell, who, ‘has his wedding vows tattooed on his body. On his back where he need never see them.’ That is spectacularly brainless. Dempsey chests the ball in the area, and for the moment there’s the expectation he’ll volley from a few yards out. Quick as a flash, he falls over instead. Fulham win a free kick just on the edge of the box with a Kaboul handball. He’s livid, and throws the ball away, and is booked. It was a harsh decision, but there you go, life is shit, Younes.

66 min: The quiet Van Der Vaart is replaced by Jermain Defoe, who doesn’t look as sad as he should do.

64 min: Spurs have come back into it slightly, but it’s still Fulham on top. A handball from Van Der Vaart and now Fulham have a free kick, to the right hand side of the box. It’s from Danny Murphy, who skids a low one at the Spurs area. As it’s rubbish, it is cleared.

62 min: Here’s dead-eyed murderer Ethan Dean-Richards: ‘Gareth Bale has been at his sexual best in this game. A poacher’s goal and a decisive but flash flick have added to him looking genuinely dangerous throughout. What’s impressive is that he’s played himself into form this season: he didn’t start well, and people enjoyed that because they could make jokes about him not being as good as a couple of people might have said he was, but he stuck at it and he looks great again. How many teams in the world wouldn’t he improve? I’d have a piece of that if I was (and I basically am) Jose Mourinho.’ He could use him no Di Maria is crocked.

60 min: Another great chance. A long ball to Zamora, holding off king, and lays it off to Dembele. He unleashes a fierce strike, but it’s too close to Friedel who can save. It’s all Fulham now.

59 min: Riise with a right foot volley, sneaking ahead of the covering Aaron Lennon, and, you know, it was a Riise right foot volley. It didn’t go in.

58 min: A long range volley skids off the surface from Dembele’s boot and Friedel saves with a smart dive to his right. Again, I wouldn’t say no to any emails you might want to send.

56 min: Goal! Fulham 1-2 Spurs (Hangeland). This time a Dempsey shot is deflected for a corner. It’s Duff, obviously, but the corner hits Hangeland, who bundles it in, perhaps unaware of quite what he’s doing.

54 min: Zamora wins a corner from Kaboul. Duff takes again, but it’s cleared, and eventually Spurs win a goal kick.

51 min: I’ve started to feel a little unwell. Will I finish the game? Or the day? Duff tries to curl a shot from the edge of the box, but it’s deflected just over by Assou-Ekott. The corner finds Hangeland, whose powerful header is tipped over by Friedel. This MBM business must be brilliant for SEO keyword stuff. Kaboul does well to cut out a Spurs cross.

49 min: Corner for Fulham, Ledley King put under pressure by Damien Duff. It’s Duff who takes it but it’s too high for everyone. Spurs win the ball back.

47 min: Break for Spurs. Bale with a delightful backheel to Adebayor who gets the return from Adebayor. The defence are closing in on him, and he’s forced to shoot from distance. He catches it too weakly, and it’s straight at Schwarzer and easily dealt with.

45 min: Christian Gross and Chris Coleman lead their teams  out and we kick off again.

Goals from the game here.

45 min + 7 min: It’s half time now. The two teams look knackered, and Spurs should close this out if they keep this up. Fulham will be disheartened by the goal and that injury.

45 + 6 min: Kelly will replace Grygera. He’ll be out for months.

45 + 4 min: Oh, no. Grygera is on the ground, screaming in pain, holding his right knee. This doesn’t look good at all. He’ll be going off soon, the oxygen is brought out for him. All he does is slightly catch his right knee in the ground and twist it.

45 + 2 min: Kaboul is getting treatment for a couple of studs to the heid.

45 min: Goal! Fulham 0-2 Spurs (Lennon) Oh, that’s lovely. Aaron Lennon plays an exquisite one two with Gareth Bale. Lennon drives towards the box, going right, then left, creating a couple of yards of space. He drills a great shot to the left of Schwarzer, who can’t get close to it.

43 min: Feel free to email me.

41 min: Nasty tackle from Ledley King, who puts his studs into Dempsey about five yards out from the penalty box, right to the right hand side. King isn’t booked, and it wasn’t deliberate. Zamora takes the free kick, and it’s well over.

39 min: Bolton are 5-0 up against Stoke City. That’s hilarious. Stoke shouldn’t exist as a football team.

38 min: Lennon’s shot from the left is deflected high into the air, but Schwarzer claims before it drops. A rare Spurs chance as Fulham have the most of possession and territorial advantage just now.

36 min: Spurs win a free kick, Walker giving away a foul on Dembele on Fulham’s left wing, just in line with the penalty box. The cross by Murhpy is swinging in invitingly, but Adebayor is able to head away excellently.

33 min:  Scott Parker had to go off quickly to have some more blood mopped up. Some slightly tasty challenges come in from Kyle Walker, and the ref lets play go on until Van Der Vaart comes up with his own cruncher, and Fulham have a free kick in their own half.

31 min: Poor cross from Lennon is claimed by Schwarzer. None of the wingers today have had a great deal of success so far, with most of the play down the middle. Spurs win a free kick, slightly to the right of goal, about twenty eight yards out. Van Der Vaart takes and wallops it low at a Fulham defender.

28 min: Damian Duff, who I had forgotten about, initiates an attack. A cross comes to Zamora who is hindered by Ledley King’s presence. The crowd appeal for a penalty, but it’s basically impossible to tell what happened from first sight.

27 min: Very scrappy from both sides. Tottenham have lost their early energy, but they’re probably already knackered, and were down to ten men for a few minutes that disrupted their rhythm. Fulham will also be drained by the Europa League tie. At least this means the second half should be very open.

23 min: Great chance for Fulham. Dembele steers a ball around Spurs’ central defence for Dempsey, who is unmarked and with time down the left. His low, powerful shot is saved smartly by Friedel, and Fulham waste the ensuing corner.

21 min: Scott Parker is bleeding and he isn’t even crying. What a man.

19 min: Scott Parker is down with a bleeding face. The crowd boo as Spurs continue to attack. He got elbowed in the nose by a falling Fulham player – Steve Sidwell. It wasn’t on purpose at all, but it was an odd one. He’s down and receiving treatment now.

16 min: The commentator says a square pass in midfield is a schoolboy error. Well, that’s simply not true, is it?

13 min: Riise puts a cross to win a corner. Fulham should have had a foul when Walker found Sidwell on the left. The corner comes back to Riise, who takes inspiration from his ex-team mate Steven Gerrard to put the ball forty yards or so over.

12 min: Corner from Murphy on the right is cleared. Fulham retain possession but are forced backwards.

10 min: Goal! Fulham 0-1 Spurs (Bale/Baird(og)). Adebayor spreads a ball wide for Kyle Walker. It looks overhit but he’s so fast that he surprises everyone to reach it. He pulls it back, and it’s crossed wide. Adebayor can’t reach it, but Bale can, who shoots from a tight angle on the left. It’s on target, but the final touch comes off Chris Baird. Great pass from Adebayor to start the move, and excellent pace from Walker to make it possible.

9 min: Neat play from Spurs breaks down. Sidwell is given the chance to cross from the right, and Clint Dempsey, going for the ball, jumps into Friedel who did well to catch under the challenge.

6 min: Both teams trying to pass their way to goal, and as Spurs are the richer team, they are almost inevitably the better at it. Spurs win a corner as Baird can’t mop up a cross well enough. The corner is missed by Schwarzer, but it’s cleared by the financially imprudent Riise.

3 min: Britain-hater Daniel Harris asks, ‘Minutes’ silences are now “beautifully observed”. How did this one differ from the others?’ There were a pair of lovely tits, you anti-white racist. Happy?

2 min: Riise wins a corner off Scott Parker. Danny Murphy takes it and finds Sidwell. The ball skims off his head, it’s going towards Friedel at real pace, but he pushes it away, the ball almost going over the line.

1 min: Dreadful pass from Modric goes out for a goal kick, but I’ll not rush to judge him in the first 40 seconds. I’ll give him that.

So, they lost in the Europa League, but nobody cares. Against QPR, Spurs looked like a thoroughly likeable (with the obvious caveat) team. Parker excelled himself at being the missing link in the Manchester United midfield, Bale ran himself into the ground and scared the crap out of the defence. Modric and Van Der Vaart were just lovely. They faded towards the end, but they’ve not had much rotation to keep things fresh, the international break will do them well.

Fulham, though, looked mightily impressive in the Europa League. Andrew Johnson scored a fantastic goal, apparently, but I didn’t see it, he’s injured today and, well, it was the Europa League, so what does it mean anyway? Not much. Martin Jol will be looking for a little bit of vengeance on, if not Spurs, then definitely Spurs’ Daniel Levy. I’m predicting a draw, and my prediction will be incorrect. Let’s have some FUN.

The cat in the ‘office’ is getting me vexed. I bet Steinberg doesn’t have to put up with that.

Team news. So what’s the fucking concept?

Fulham: Schwarzer; Grygera, Baird, Hangeland, Riise; Duff, Murphy, Sidwell, Dempsey; Dembele, Zamora.

Subs: Etheridge, Kelly, Kasami, Ruiz, Etuhu, Frei, Briggs.

Spurs: Friedel; Walker, Kaboul, King, Assou-Ekotto; Lennon, Modric, Parker, Bale; Van der Vaart; Adebayor.

Subs: Cudicini, Defoe, Bassong, Corluka, Livermore, Sandro, Pienaar (Are you happy with your Spurs bench and £50,000 a week? What’s that? Oh).