Illustration: Mourinho holds Pep’s testes now
We at Surreal Football are completely biased in favour of Real Madrid.
We deny ourselves enjoyment by disregarding Barcelona’s flair and friendship, their impossible skill, all because we’re biased.
Today, it’s worth it. It might backfire, but it’s worth it.
Today, Jose Mourinho has Pep’s balls where he wants them, and he’s not letting go.
We love you, Jose. We’ll see you soon, through the binoculars.