Monday Moronacy

Sunshine through the rain.

 

Expectorate Expectations 1

A ftbllr spat at another ftbllr yesterday, prompting various to declare this as the worst thing that can ever happen on a football pitch. Unfeasibly virulent microbes notwithstanding, it eventuated a consequence of precisely nothing – so we should expect the FA to hand out the same ban it would for a leg-breaking tackle.

DH

 

Expectorate Expectations 2

Earlier this year, Tiger Woods was fined £10,000 for spitting on a green. Earlier this week, Tiger Woods’ ex-caddy, Steve Williams, was fined £0 for calling him a “black asshole”.

DH

 

Micah Richards

The only possible excuse for leaving Micah Richards out of the England squad is if you went solely on his performance against QPR. Even then, he was constantly bailing out his new team mate Savic, and was the best City defender throughout the whole game. This would mean that Fabio Capello isn’t watching any of the other games he’s played in, which is lazy to say the least. Unless, that is, Micah Richards is back to his old behaviour? For what it’s worth, nobody seems to have him painted as one of the City Booze Crew, so the whole business poses more questions than answers. Luckily, watching England fail is wholly enjoyable, so Capello can overlook his best players all he wants.

Alexander Netherton

 

Jo-Jo-Jose

Of course they could blow it. Barcelona are still the best team in the world, and they now have an even better squad, despite ageing and injuries. In fact, were in not for the freak weather in Bilbao, Barcelona would have more than likely come away with three points. The problem for ‘Pep’ is that they didn’t. They dropped two, despite the draw feeling like some kind of moral victory.  Mourinho doesn’t drop significant leads in the league, he just doesn’t do it. Barcelona and Guardiola are the one group who could do it, and to reel in a Mourinho – not a Madrid – team would be one of his finest achievements. As one of the more erudite FCFers put it, Jose Mourinho has built a little camp for himself in Barcelona’s arsehole, and this season he’ll be turning it into a fully-fledged village, just waiting. After all that, just look at the Premier League. No thanks, England!

AN

 

The hypocrite’s hypocrites

To anyone familiar with secondary rhyming slang, the headline “FIFA bans poppy” was more than a little surprising. But ban it they have, from the jerseys of England players. Now, on the one hand, there’s something rather miserable about the way personal choice and reflection has been usurped by carping tokenism, but on the other, communal recognition of the sacrifices made by conscripts when there were things worth sacrificing for, is probably of greater significance. The rule in question states that “players’ equipment…should not carry any political, religious or commercial messages”, even though international football is, by definition, political – evidenced by competition between countries and the presence of flags, anthems and mascots. And as to the banning of “commercial messages”, strips are sponsored, everything else is sponsored, and the overarching aim of the whole sorry farce is the relentless accumulation of money via the aforementioned. If the FA had any equipment, it’d tell FIFA to shove it.

DH

 

The Hackney Pearl

Four parts damson gin to one of pastis, lime juice, soda and mint. The Hackney Pearl.