Tuesday Toss
I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.
Spurs
Spurs are, according to their ever reliable, ever truthful manager Harry Redknapp, genuine title contenders. You could argue the case one way or another. In Rafael van der Vaart, Gareth Bale and Luka Modric they have three of the exceptional Premier League players, but on the other hand the rest of their squad is made up of mashed potato. It could all fall apart in a hot minute, but that’s not the point. The point is that if Harry Redknapp says it, it has to be true. His court case for Tax Bother is this winter, by the way.
Alexander Netherton
Chelsea
They lose a few games, and, with tedious predictability, there’s already talk of a “dressing room” – that is, of course, “full of strong personalities, like Lampsy and me” – rebelling against its manager. Never has there been a team so replete with unlikeable entitlement, and the various types are no longer good enough at football to get away with it – as much as anything, Villas-Boas is allowing them to expose themselves. He should be given the consequent opportunity to get shot, because it’s the only way Chelsea will get back to winning things.
Daniel Harris
Cricket
There’s probably nothing in existence that’s better than test match cricket done properly, and the two that South Africa and Australia have just played fall precisely in that category. But two is all we’re getting, largely because the world is an arsehole. Similarly, when South Africa come to England this summer, there will only be three tests, and it’s about time this nonsense was resolved: they find the time for five when Australia come and the cash is guaranteed, and an appropriate summer series would harvest the various interests just as much; the disdain for faceless ODI and T20 games as little more than an eat and a booze is one of the few decent things about this country.
DH
Get your fetish out of my face
The Killing, Mad Men or The Wire, take your pick. If there is a chance for an adult to have a childish obsession with a television series and relate everything in the real world through this prism, the idiots take it with both hands, in the process dropping the Cup-a-Soup they had just been given by their wife. Let normal people watch TV and make their own minds up, this pathetic lifestyle carry-on is deeply bleak.
AN
