It doesn’t get better.
RFU – Royal Fuck Ups
There very well may not be a sorrier bunch of arseholes than the RFU. Following the leaked report outing them for the same, they’ve responded with the selfless altruism and commitment to improve that has won them such widespread love and respect, hiring a private detective to find out who grassed them up. I take it Rob Andrew’s never seen Murder on the Orient Express.
RFU – A Royal Fuck Up
There’s been a lot of crowing that, ha ha, the England rugby team are just as venal and narcissistic, just as lazy and unprofessional, as the English national team. Isn’t the correct response just to be depressed that we have yet more confirmation that this island needs sinking? Get me my depth charges.
The Raw Milk Revolution
Enjoy your listeria
, wankers. Is it so hard to get at least the people in charge and the people with disposable income not to regress to figurine-wielding, hocus pocus mongers? Don’t answer that. Get me my depth charges.
Apparently tennis’ last cash-collection of the year may no longer take place in London, as some of the players object to UK tax legislation requiring them to cede a percentage of their sponsorship money. Here’s what LTA chief Roger Draper had to say on the matter: “This isn’t about tax breaks, it’s about developing the growth of the sport in this country. If we lose events like this, it will have a big impact. The government are taking it seriously, but there are no guarantees”. Now, the capacity of the O2 centre is 17,500, they play two sessions a day for six days, and one on the seventh. Assuming they sell out each one, and ignoring the fact that some attending are non-UK residents and some go more than once, that’s a total of 227,500 people. The population of the UK is roughly 63 million. Or in other words, chief Rodge – might I call you that in this pretend conversation we’re having? – some things, like taxation and wealth redistribution, say – are important. Whereas some other things – like tennis, say – are not. Hardly anyone gives a blithering fuck about “the growth of the sport in this country”, and if those that do care more for it than for the country itself, then they can fuck off along with their ball-hitting mercenaries. And if the government is actually “taking it seriously’” then things are more fucked-up than I thought. More likely, though, you’re just gullible and self-important.
Changing platform this morning, I was accosted by a poster advertising the autobiography of the appalling Ken Livingstone. It told me that the book contains a “straight-taking political figure telling it like it is”. This raised a few questions in my mind. 1) Does straight-talking include the coercing of scabbing, contrary to all public proclamations of socialism? 2) Does it include the use of various – borderline, if we’re being generous – anti-Jewish and anti-immigrant tropes and opinions? 3) What is “it”? 4) Does “it” include everything in the universe, or are there some exemptions? 5) How “is” “it”? 6) How does he know? 7) Does anyone else know?