The Surreal Football/FCF Round Up

More from the FCF here.

Strikes

Education Secretary Michael Gove has been at more complaining, aggravated that Wednesday’s planned strike will inconvenience people – a bit like accusing a selfish, conceited arsehole of being a selfish, conceited arsehole. Typically, rather than engage on the issues, he did his best to disparage in more personal terms, suggesting that the reason for the action isn’t governmental demand that the less well off members of society become even more so, but “militants itching for a fight…they want teachers and other public sector workers to lose a day’s pay in the run-up to Christmas. They want scenes of industrial strife on our TV screens, they want to make economic recovery harder, they want to provide a platform for confrontation, just when we all need to pull together.” He provides no evidence whatsoever for these outrageous, defamatory statements, nor of any pulling together being done by him and his pals. Now, folk will always believe in different approaches to things – but with him, as with Thatcher, Cameron and Osborne and as opposed to Major and Clarke, it’s the accompanying cool, cruel nastiness that’s so despicable.

Daniel Harris

Wonga

Hip hop lingo from a granny is so funny, their ad convinces me that – coupled with a slider to work out how much you have to repay – paying extortionate APR is just what the poor and desperate deserve. Margaret Thatcher would jump for joy were she not in such serious mental and physical decline.

Alexander Netherton

British Fashion Awards

Let’s just rename it the Eating Disorder Awards and be done with the whole thing.

Alexander Netherton

Clever

The ever-cunning John Terrence has outsmarted the system once again, deliberately getting himself booked at the weekend so as to serve a one-match ban during the round of League Cup fixtures. To prevent this in future, it’d make more sense for cards issued in a particular competition to count towards suspension only from games played in it.

Daniel Harris