Newcastle 0-3 Chelsea: Match Report
Chelsea beat Newcastle 3-0 in an excellent game.
Newcastle’s moral victory was secured early after Luiz got away with some awful defending, escaping a red card by Mike Dean’s cowardice or incompetence. For the next 15 minutes, the Chelsea defence continued its recent shambolic form, contriving to make Peter Lovenkrands and Demba Ba look like the Wehrmacht as they were scattered before their terrifying-but-ultimately-wasteful advance.
Chelsea then rightfully won a penalty, which Lampard missed, disgracing his mother’s memory. Newcastle hit the bar several times, and Chelsea missed a series of opportunities thanks to a superhuman performance from The Dutch Neville Southall (Krul) and some poor finishing from The English Luis Suarez (Sturridge.)
After half-time, Drogba scored with a header after Mata, the only other player on the pitch apart from Krul who you could say had a good game, set up his seventh of the season. Newcastle then hit the bar a few more times and then let in a few goals due to dodgy defending as they slowly realised that they were never meant to win. Torres came on and looked even worse, ponderous on the ball, and scuffy in technique.
So, that’s Newcastle. Playing badly at the start of the season, they shot themselves into the top four. In their last three games they’ve been brilliant, and have one point to show for it.
To top it off, Krul was denied the Man Of The Match award. That’s because Man Of The Match awards are terrible. Here’s why.