Monday Moronacy
Good morrow.
At least
There’s little that’s lovable about Barcelona – the mes que un club pomposity, arsehole of a president and snide shithousery make sure of that. But at least there’s some kind of art that’s gone into building their team, whether spotting and developing young talent, or improving slightly older players, which means more than the purchase of the best players they don’t have, married with contrived, attention-seeking wind-ups.
Daniel Harris
Useless
“I made it clear that it was untenable for me to welcome it”, said Nick Clegg when told that David Cameron had used Britain’s EU veto. If “it” isn’t his party’s presence in the coalition, what is “it”?
DH
Clegg
So when he first heard the news that the Prime Minister had isolated Britain from the rest of Europe, he rustled up a half-believable ramble about clear lines drawn and protecting British interests, because he calculated it was politically in his interests to do so, to keep the coalition strong. Then he decided that it was actually politically in his interests to say he was bitterly disappointed about the deal, because his backbenches wanted his guts for bunting. He’s not even trying to remember to spell ‘integrity’.
Alexander Netherton
Millyband
I liked Miliband this morning but it makes me physically sick to hear anyone praise Churchill. One of the worst, most heinous Prime Ministers we’ve ever had, and did a lot more harm than good in both world wars as well. World War II is a good example of why popular history shouldn’t be allowed. Everybody got what they deserved in the end and yet people still think fucking idiots like Churchill and Rommel were geniuses. That’s something though – we used to be intelligent enough to boot Churchill out when we had the chance. If it was 1945 again, Churchill would have the job for life.
Callum Hamilton
X Factor
On the basis that, ultimately, there’s some worth in unearthing a new pop star, this column has resolutely refused to attack X Factor. However, there is so little point to the collection of phoney forgeries who are its latest winners, that it’s impossible to withhold scorn any longer.
DH
