Phriday Phlegm
Did you ever think, that we could be so close, like brothers?
Decisions
There are cunts, fucking cunts, cunts and KUNTS – and then there are the London mayoral candidates. Now in a sense, this isn’t much surprising: both are politicians and people, and both are noisemakers needing binning – but even so, it makes Bush-Dukakis look like Borg-McEnroe. Anyway, this column has expounded on Livingstone’s repeated use of anti-immigration and anti-Jewish tropes before, so in the interests of balance, let’s enjoy an anecdote from Boris Johnson’s biography: when party officials told him that a small percentage of the £250,000 he received from the Telegraph whilst mayor would need to be given to charity, he cried “It’s outrageous! I’ve been raped! I’ve been raped!” And worst of all, you actually have to vote for him, because it’s the only way of stopping him.
DH
De Gea
David De Gea is long sighted and might have laser surgery to correct it. Make that into 600 words and watch your soul crumble.
AN
FUN
It’s the weekend. Hooray. Tonight, enjoy the thronging hordes on a joint jolly with their work colleagues. Imagine the sociopaths who would willingly hang out with their colleagues, and pay for overpriced booze for the privilege. Instead, get yourself a four pack, and then buy another. Go to your room, close the door and get cracking on oblivion.
AN
Photo courtesy of Well Offside
