The monkey-chanting Liverpool fan at Anfield: suggested legal defences
1. “Funky Gibbon” came on my iPod shuffle, and – come on – you know that nobody can resist doing the dance.
2. I was scratching both armpits and yawning.
3. Racist noises! Why, nay, nay, and thrice nay! I am Merseyside’s foremost Frankie Howerd impersonator, and was merely expressing my disagreement with a throw-in decision.
4. I was acting out the Chewits advert.
5. The football was boring us, so we were doing movie charades. I was doing King Kong.
6. I was being ironic, like Ricky Gervais.
7. I was impersonating a Chelsea fan.
8. I was impersonating Frankie Boyle.
9. I was impersonating Jimmy Carr.
10. The accidental inclusion of this on our club’s website highlights package was in fact a subtle trick of video editing which we were using to sell season tickets.