Premier League Twitter Match Reports
All the games last night condensed into handy 140 character summaries. All the protein, none of the carbs. Atkins journalism.
TOT 3–1 WIG. Concise match report unveils shit Fiddler ‘n’ the Woof gag as tripe-faced illiterate manchild pays 3 points into offshore kennel
WW 0–3 LIV. Mick Mac paddy-whacked as wonk-nosed faux-Fenian is floored by 6ft 4ins tower of brown ale retardation.
EVE 1–0 MNC. Banco di Manco’s philanthropy day trip to decrepit scouse slum a roaring success as charitably arrogant tycoons leave fleeced.
SWA 1-1 CHE. Tiki-taka taffs continue to shit on myth that small clubs must resort to judo to stay in top flight. Take heed Mr Pulis.
MNU 2–0 STO. On the upside, Gary Neville now talks for a living, so the likelihood of him choking to death on his own mouth increases daily.
You can find more of these at Little Big Match on Twitter.
Image: Well Offside.