Full time: Liverpool 0-0 Tottenham. Neither side can do anything in four minutes of stoppage time and Spurs grind out a point in a game they surely would have lost not so long ago. Their gritty display was epitomised by Scott Parker. Michael Dawson and Ledley King were also outstanding. For Liverpool, it”s the same old story at home: little creativity, half-chances and plenty of frustration. Particularly for Andy Carroll, who wasted their best opportunity in dismal fashion. Thanks for reading. Bye.

90 min: Carroll knocks down a long ball for Suarez in the area. He swivels and volleys, but King is there to block it. The rebound comes back to Suarez, but he controls it with his arm. Spurs escape.

88 min: Danny Rose comes on for Niko Kranjcar. Just after the Bale chance, I missed Suarez putting a header from a free-kick straight at Friedel from six-yards out. Either side of the goalkeeper and it was a goal.

87 min: Downing rasps one well over from 25 yards out. “A very good effort,” says Alan Parry.

85 min: It’s just not going to be Bale’s night. Kranjcar opens Liverpool up with a glorious pass from deep, stabbed through with the outside of his right foot to Bale. He sprints clear of the Liverpool defence, their offside trap malfunctioning, but once he gets into the area, his low-left footer is tame and Reina blocks easily. It comes back to Bale, but he’s on the floor and although he manages to stab it back past Reina, Agger is on hand to boot clear.

81 min: Friedel flies through the bodies to punch Gerrard’s free-kick away and gets knocked over by Skrtel for good measure.

80 min: Johnson does exceptionally on the left to beat Walker on the outside and chip the ball into Carroll, whose diving header from close range goes wide, King doing enough to put him off.

77 min: That was a digsusting challenge from Skrtel and Dalglish had the bare-faced cheek to complain about a free-kick being awarded. He really is a piece of work. The Liverpool fans boo Bale back on to the pitch. You stay classy lads.

76 min: The Liverpool fans howl at Bale for assaulting Skrtel’s studs with his shins. That is a shocking challenge, high, wild and out of control. It could have broken Bale’s leg. Luckily it hasn’t. Skrtel should be off, but he escapes with a booking.

74 min: What a club-footed toolkit. Kelly curls a delicious cross over from the right. It falls to Carroll, who chests the ball down and then slashes comically over with his right foot from eight yards out. Dear me. £35m for that.

73 min: Bale pulls a shot wide of the left post from 25 yards. And Downing comes on for Bellamy.

72 min: Louis Saha comes on for Emmanuel Adebayor. A completely pointless substitution by Spurs, who still won’t be able to solve the problem of only having one lonely striker.

71 min: Parker is up again.

70 min: Parker’s down again after being volleyed in the stomach by Suarez. That’s racist towards people who look like they come from the 1950s. Suarez is booked. Four minutes, that took.

66 min: Here he is then. Luis Suarez comes on for Dirk Kuyt. He’s immediately in the thick of the actionm, forcing Parker to concede a corner after he combined brilliantly with Gerrard. Carroll meets the corner at the far post, but it’s straight at Friedel.

64 min: Carroll soars and heads on to Kuyt, who’s broken clear down the right. He charges … well, trudges forward and then finds Adam on the edge of the area. His shot is charged down.

62 min: “And explain the word ubiquitous please, I’m only 16, cut me some slack,” says Ally Poole. I can’t give you all the answers. Look it up! “And don’t type your name in on twitter search because you won’t like the tweet at the top, I didn’t tweet it though!” That clown. I blocked him ages ago.

61 min: The pressure is growing from Liverpool. Adam curls a corner to the far post and Agger, left alone, sends a free header wide. He probably should have scored.

59 min: Friedel is called into action again, pushing a fierce Kelly drive from long range past his near post. Parker took aa knock from Adam in the build-up to that move, the Liverpool midfielder accidentally catching him as he found Kelly. Parker’s ok though.

57 min: Bale’s night gets worse. Parker hoicks a high ball into the area from the right. At the far post Adebayor heads it back across goal, leading to a bit of a scramble in the area. It eventually falls to Bale eight yards but he completely mistimes his volley with his right foot and skews it wide from eight yards out. His frustration grows.

54 min: Bale’s frustration is growing, and he could so easily have been sent off here. He races away from Johnson and then knocks the ball past Agger, who hangs out a leg and makes no contact with him. That doesn’t stop Bale taking an embarrassing tumble though and Agger, enraged, lets him know what he thinks in no uncertain terms. Bale gets up and gives him a shove in the chest, earning him a booking. He could have gone for that with another referee, and could also have picked up two bookings: one for the dive, one for the shove.

53 min: Bale drifts over to the right flank, scampers inside and then whacks a harmless shot miles wide. Not his night so far.

50 min: “Soporific, what does that mean?” says the ubiquitous Ally Poole, making me think I’ve made up a word. “Have never encountered it before, may try and work it into an English essay if it is any good.” Drowsy. If this journalism lark doesn’t work out, I could be a teacher.

49 min: Still, on BBC1 you have to make do with ‘The Diamond Queen’. Shudder. Unless it’s about Ann Diamond.

48 min: It’s still boring. I can’t believe I took this game. I could be … well, just watching it.

46 min: Adebayor and Bellamy share a joke. See what you’re missing out on, City? Banter. Top level banter. Liverpool get us going again. Let’s hope this half isn’t as soporific as the first half.

Half time: Liverpool 0-0 Tottenham. A brief summary of events in the first half:

45 min+1: One final chance of the half, Johnson darting inside and rifling a low shot towards the near post. Friedel is equal to it and pushes it behind for a corner. There’s no time for it to be taken though, the referee blowing for half time, a decision Andy Carroll reacts to by telling him to eff off. Don’t worry, Andy, 45 minutes more and then you can hit the town.

44 min: A lucky ricochet breaks kindly for Walker, who bursts in between Johnson and Adam, a sight of goal materialising from nowhere. Johnson gets back to put him off though, and the shot is scuffed and deflected wide by Agger anyway. The corner comes to nothing.

42 min: For the first time in the match, Adebayor gets the better of Skrtel, holding the defender off and spinning away from him. He spreads it out to Walker on the right, but his cross into the middle is just behind the unmarked Bale, whose improvised flick from 10 yards out is straight at Reina. He’s no Kanu.

41 min: Liverpool almost take the lead with a fluke. Johnson cut in from the left and on to his right and swung a teasing cross into the middle. No one could get anything on it, but it was headed for the far corner, and Friedel had to be alert to get down and push it away. Moments later, Carroll gets clear in the Spurs box. And falls over.

40 min: Bellamy’s free-kick is awful.

39 min: Another opportunity for Liverpool to test Spurs with a free-kick on the edge of the area, as Parker scythes through Gerrard after a purposeful run from the captain. Parker is the first player cautioned.

38 min: Arf.

36 min: Bale’s on his haunches after taking a clattering from Skrtel. Either that, or he’s really impressed with his red boots. No free-kick though.

35 min: “Wow what a video, a really important message conveyed, he is very extravagant though,” says Ally Poole. What I can’t understand though is how a huge pizza produced only two small slices, baffling!” Well, it was in America.

33 min: This is the closest either side have come. Spearing lets a pass from Gerrard run across his body and then lets fly from 25 yards, the ball whizzing inches past the right post, brushing the side-netting on its way behind. Friedel looked beaten there.

32 min: A shot! A save! One whole shot and a save! Nothing to get too excited about though, Kranjcar dropping the shoulder and firing straight at Reina from the edge of the area. He manages not to throw it into his own net. Well done ‘Pepe’.

30 min: Adebayor’s first touch gets away from him – so what’s new – and the clumsy galoot compounds his error by planting his boot on Craig Bellamy’s foot.

28 min: Adam feints past Modric and then booms his cross high into the Anfield Road End.

27 min: This is a poor game.

26 min: Modric springs Adebayor clear down the inside-left channel. He’s one-on-one with Skrtel, but tries to dodge inside on to his right foot and ends up running into a posse of red shirts.

23 min: A brilliant, crunching tackle on Bale from Skrtel. A tone-setter, if you will. A goal isn’t on the cards, but right now, if it was going to come from one side, you’d have to back it to be Liverpool.

23 min: A brilliant, crunching tackle on Bale from Skrtel. A tone-setter, if you will. A goal isn’t on the cards, but right now, if it was going to come from one side, you’d have to back it to be Liverpool.

21 min: Spurs really miss the balance given to them by Lennon, not to mention the link play of Van der Vaart. They’re essentially relying on Bale to conjure something out of nothing, and Liverpool know they can afford to overload on him without having to worry too much about the rest of the Spurs side.

18 min: Plenty of toing and froing in midfield from both sides, but neither goalkeeper has had to make a save yet. “Three questions,” says Ally Poole. “Firstly last time I asked you what type of pizza you had, so what did you have to eat, come on we need to know? Secondly why do Sky show a cat on the pitch but when a streaker is on the pitch? A much more entertaining event they say “Noone wants to see this,” but they do. Lastly, can you upload a sound clip of that Jewish Uncle song thing you mentioned on Football Weekly?” Roast chicken, potatoes and peas. Delicious. Because cats are fun, testicles are not.

16 min: “Has suarez pinched the cat’s cheek yet?‏” honks cat lover Daniel Harris. No, but he did pull its tail and it’s now missing a couple of whiskers.

14 min: In case anyone’s reading this, there’s a small problem with the MBM which should be fixed now, I’m told. Modric whips a corner into the Liverpool area. Adebayor gets his head on to it and flicks it on, but nothing comes from it.

12 min: There’s a cat on the pitch! And it’s now taken up residence in the Spurs area, which is once more than Andy Carroll’s managed.

10 min: Spurs are playing with no width whatsoever. You’d expect nothing less on the right, where Kranjcar is nominally stationed, but Bale is also drifting in-field, looking to support Adebayor. The onus is on the full-backs to get forward then.

8 min: “Jan Molby,” begins Daniel Harris, “is co-commentator on the radio. I don’t recall the fat fuck being known as Molby Dick when he was a player, which strikes me as something of an oversight.” And now it’s been underseen.

7 min: Now Liverpool do get a free-kick, Johnson knocked over right in the D, just outside the area. Adam touches the ball to Gerrard, but his attempt to curl it round the wall is blocked. He should have just rammed that one, like he did against Arsenal in 2007.

5 min: A huge moment here. Gerrard rolls back the years and bursts through the middle, easily away from Parker. For a moment, he imagines he’s still got Fernando Torres and slips a great pass in behind for Carroll. He manages to get there, but Dawson’s tackle is timed to perfection. He was the last man and had to get that spot on. It looked like he did.

3 min: Big Andy picks the ball up 40 yards from his own goal. And gives away a corner. What a brilliant start from the gormless one. That was quite something. Gerrard heads Modric’s corner from the left away.

2 min: Anfield is silent. I suppose they haven’t got Patrice Evra to froth at.

Peep! We’re off, Tottenham getting us underway and attacking the Kop in the first half. Louis Saha strokes his hair on the Tottenham bench, managing not to poke his own eye out in the process. Well done Louis!

The teams are out. They’ll be playing football soon.

Fabio Capello. He hasn’t even won the Carling Cup.

Fabio Capello is in the stands. Boo! Boooooooo! Booooooooooooooooo! England’s not even in Italy.

Liverpool fans, I came up with a chant for Big Andy. “He’s big, he’s red, behind his eyes, he’s dead!”

Evening. He’s here, but he’s not. After his eight-game ban for gently stroking Patrice Evra’s face, Luis Suarez returns for Liverpool, though he’s only on the bench, Big Andy preferred up front having done a goal against Wolves last week. Unlike Harry Redknapp, the Tottenham manager grounded in London after his plane failed to take off. Honestly, a bit of snow and the whole country grinds to a halt.

The big news, other than Suarez’s comeback, is that this game was nearly called off due to fog. But referee Michael Oliver has decided the visibility is fine to play. Although given some of the decisions this weekend – here’s looking at you, Howard – it might not have made a huge difference.

Anyway, the game. It’s a big one, for sure, as Harry might have said if he were here. But he’s not. Although that didn’t matter for Spurs when they won at Fulham without him in November. This is an entirely different proposition however. Liverpool might not have won enough at home this season, but Manchester City and Manchester United will confirm how difficult it can be to play at Anfield, where Kenny Dalglish’s side are unbeaten. Spurs might be the form side in the country, but they’ve yet to lay down a marker away from home, having lost at City and United, and drawn with Newcastle. That said, they’ve won their last three matches against Liverpool, including a comfortable 2-0 win at Anfield last May.

Team news: Tottenham are down to the bare bones. Jermain Defoe, Aaron Lennon and Rafael van der Vaart are all injured. Amazingly Louis Saha isn’t. Liverpool will fancy themselves after a look at that team.

Liverpool (4-3-3): Reina; Kelly, Agger, Skrtel, Johnson; Spearing, Gerrard, Adam; Kuyt, Carroll, Bellamy. Subs: Doni, Coates, Carragher, Henderson, Downing, Suarez, Aurelio.

Tottenham (4-5-1): Friedel; Walker, Dawson, King, Assou-Ekotto; Kranjcar, Parker, Livermore, Modric, Bale; Adebayor. Subs: Cudicini, Saha, Rose, Nelsen, Khumalo, Luongo, Lancaster.