Martin O’Neill rallies Sunderland’s troops: We’re doomed

Martin O’Neill has prepared his Sunderland side for their clash with Middlesbrough tonight by defiantly insisting that Sunderland have no chance of winning the FA Cup.

The Sunderland boss said: ”If a Sunderland fan asked me if it was worth betting on us to win the Cup I would say keep your money in your pocket,” adding ”Honestly, that tenner may buy you something, not a lot of fresh air.”

In addition to his concern for the wallets of his fans, O’Neill also voiced regrets about his upbringing. ”Disaster is around the corner. It is, it’s lurking, it’s incredibly negative. Am I thinking about the bad times ahead? Jesus, no. I’ve got to remain positive, I’m going to fight this negativity!”

After such a rousing speech, The FCF cannot see how O’Neill’s troops could possibly fail. O’Neill’s Middlesbrough counterpart Tony Mowbray, meanwhile, has been talking fighting words, claiming that his side won’t be scared.