The Wednesday Wide
Theo Walcott’s at it again
No sooner have Arsenal beaten a ten-man relegation candidate at home than Theo Walcott is off again, asserting that the team needed to play well because their manager was taking the stick for their incompetence. “There are so many world class players in the dressing room”, he boasts, not taking the time to wonder who they might be – though you can be semi-sure he counts himself amongst them. Next, we have the lament: “It’s just been one of those frustrating seasons” – though he doesn’t bother to distinguish it from every other season he has endured. And of course that’s not all: “Hopefully a lot of those frustrations came out against Blackburn, where everybody stood up for themselves”. Gosh, how awfully brave – but where’s the characteristic self-effacement? Ah, right here: “One of my main jobs as a winger is to get assists. The goals are a secondary thing. Some of them against Blackburn were just tap-ins so it was like a goal really. I hope it made Robin’s job easy”.
There are few things that typify the cretiny in the Premier League than the handshakes. For all the players, they could be slapping an elephant’s wang eleven times for all the enthusiasm they put into it. The greatest rivalry of the Premier League was that between Arsenal and Manchester United in the years around the turn of the millenium, and the players would have rather chinned each other than touch hand meat. Will Evra shake Suarez’s hand? Will Ferdinand shake Terry’s? Who cares?
Of course, there’s no way that domestic economic trouble in Argentina and Great Britain would lead to their respective leaders posture aggressively in order to distract the voters, is there?