Thursday Manic Depression

We can feel it coming in the air tonight.

Conspiracy

It’s a disgrace. For Steven Gerrard, consistently excellent for England, to be overlooked for this great honour. It sickens us to the stomach that a true hero, a man of grace and humility, wasn’t properly rewarded. We suggest that Liverpool fans bind together and make this the sole focus of their energy. If one group of fans can do perspective and dignity, it is of course them. We cannot wait.

Listen to the reaction, immortalised in today’s Liverpool Echo; we defy you not to shed a tear:

“We all know how badly Stevie wants the England captaincy” said Tommy Smith, “and after all that has gone on with John Terry, how much he deserves it.” Yes, the logical progression from an accusation against the present incumbent is that Steven Gerrard should automatically be appointed captain. It’s obvious. And he continueth: “He’s got the stature, the ability, the experience and the drive to succeed in the role. Everyone knows it.” Well, apparently not. Stuart Pearce doesn’t know it, and perhaps that’s because Gerrard’s hardly been a roaring success in the role until now.

“Yet four days after leading Liverpool to a great cup win at Wembley, the Liverpool captain gets overlooked in favour of Parker.” Liverpool beat a Championship side on penalties and Gerrard had a quiet game, but, of course, the logical progression is that he should automatically be appointed captain. It’s obvious.

“Bill Shankly was always angry that I got overlooked by England. Plenty of people like Shanks felt there was a London bias in the sixties and seventies – and it seems it is still around today.” Well, Tommy, it’s also possible that being a talentless thug counted against you – odd how your teammates Thompson, Hughes, Neal, McDermott, Keegan, Clemence and Kennedy managed to get themselves selected, but seeing as you’ve made it about you, let’s recall that you’re hardly a reliable witness; you were, after all, scrounging undue benefits until you appeared at Wembley in a pre-Cup Final penalty competition, you clever, honest man.

“Thankfully Stuart Pearce is only in charge for one game and maybe the new manager will see sense and if there is any fairness give Stevie the England armband for the Euro 2012 tournament. Perhaps if Stevie spoke with a cockney accent, though, we wouldn’t have had an issue here in the first place.” Perhaps if he’d played well for England in the past three years, or even had a go in the Champions League in the same timeframe, he might have a case. But we’ll go with it anyway for a moment. Joe Hart: born in Shropshire; Micah Richards: born in Birmingham, grew up in Leeds; Gary Cahill: born in Sheffield; Leighton Baines: born in Kirkby. Ok, this is tedious now, so let’s move on to captains, and those famous cockneys Billy Wright, Bryan Robson, Alan Shearer, Kevin Keegan, David Platt, Peter Shilton and Emlyn Hughes.

And of course, this is the Liverpool Echo, so that wasn’t enough, and luckily, David Johnson was also available. “Inwardly, he will be disappointed,” he blathered. “It is a fantastic honour to captain your country, and he will be hurt by the snub I’m sure. But he will never show it. He isn’t that kind of player, or person.” He’s a great person, obviously, just ask the DJ who wouldn’t play Phil Collins for him. He keeps his troubles locked inside.

Dearie us.

AN and DH

Photo courtesy of Well Offside