A brand new day is dawning/A light that will annoint thee/A sign from the subconcious/An angel sent to guide me/The searching will be over/The call will now be gentle/In the carriage on the fast train/Of the last train to trancentral
A panel set-up by the government has concluded, no doubt at great expense and certainly at great expense of time, that last summer’s riots came as a consequence of poor parenting, poor teaching, poor rehabilitation of offenders, poor opportunities, poor expectations and poor policing. Next, the panel will tackle conundra such as why snot is green and where babies come from. You’re paying.
Matt Lawton of the Daily Mail thinks that ‘internet writing’ for sports journalism is printing the same story from the paper, but on the internet. Naming Scott Parker as England captain for example. Obviously he’s got a full seven inches of contacts in his rolodex, but you’d have thought that at some point he’d have switched on his laptop, clicked, “D A I L L [BACKSPACE] Y M A Y [BACKSPACE] I L” into the address bar. Then clicked on “D A I LY M A I L” on the Google homepage, slowly but carefully inching the cursor across the screen so as not to miss it. Then, having carefully examined the sidebar of tits and various other female body parts, he’d have wiped his brow, and gingerly clicked on “F O O T B A L L” and seen that, heavens to Betsy, there was a different kind of writing on the internet than just printing what’s on the paper.
Hang on a second. Let’s check.
No, that is what the Daily Mail football website is made up of. A brave new world. But that isn’t to disrespect the flair demonstrated by getting into a car, driving somewhere and copying down what people say in press conferences.
Photo courtesy of Well Offside